Tuesday, 1 December 2015
Love and Trust Part 2
While he's been playing his games with various girls, she has been on a quest to find herself.
She asks herself the important questions. Why her relationships failed? Why her mother's health decline so rapidly and has been reduced to a chunk of flesh that's rotting from inside and have her voice taken away? What is the significance in her mother's exit from the scenario?
This is what he should've done, instead of playing the victim role and still blaming her for failing twice in his attempt to revive the relationship between them.
Another person, a new face, does not change the lessons needing to be learnt. It is insignificant compare to the lessons they both have signed up to have in this lifetime. The circumstances have made them met again for the third time to give them a choice whether to take up the lessons again or choose to go on their own path.
She had questioned many times and tested many times on why some relationship lasts, some don't, some stays true to their partner even through the difficult times, some stray, some finds it easy to stay together, some just drifts apart. She finds the answer after much vulnerable moments.
It is not about who is the partner, the different faces, the permutation of conditions, the details of how, are just variations on how you can learn your lessons.
She finds that one can change partners many many times, you have no limit really, you set your own limit, you know your own lessons. The thing that matter is whether you learnt your lessons. Some partner gives you better circumstances, because they also change and grow with you, some tends to trudge and makes you feel like you're walking in a swamp, because he can't keep up with your change or he just chooses to never change hence the relationship breaks.
The question then becomes which variations do you like best? One full of people that keeps up with your change and vibrates on a higher frequency with you (to say it simply, being around happy people)? Or one full of people that makes you feel like you're swamping through your day?
You may feel love and trust from both groups, but is it the real thing? How do each define love and trust?
He said that the many years of his life were his greatest asset that he has given her and that she had lost his love and trust. That she is not free of the deed of their past and he would not bet the rest of his life on her because he has been genuine and there's no regret in that.
Here lies a lot of what his lessons are, if only he took a second read at what he wrote.
He's still hurting and blaming her for all the actions he took after they went their separate ways. The games he's playing are still the same. It is called the "blame game" and no body can be the winner of that, but he thinks he'll win because he'll bet on someone else next time around, even after various attempts on that having to fail, he's still thinking betting on someone else is better than looking inwards like what she had done.
He said she only deserves being a mistress because of the deed of their past. She knows better, a Ph.D. student would feel just as frustrated explaining her findings to a 9 year old.
What she deserves to be in someone's life, has nothing to do with other people and her deed of their past. The most important thing about relationship and the love and the trust in it, is within you and how you relate to yourself.
Life is learning your lessons with someone that is willing to change their energy to keep moving positively. It's not about betting on someone new just because they have not done anything to you, yet.
Relationships lasts when you both grow together, hand in hand, helping each other, not playing the games people play. Maybe occasionally you want to play the game but you have to be conscious about it and not forget the lesson you're learning.
Keeping in touch with your emotional barometer is essential to check your place. That's why it's no good to just "cope". You have to get raw with your emotion and do the necessary steps to get back to your happy place.
The universe (or multiverse now) is always listening to you. When you have love and trust in yourself, it won't leave you out of the equation.
We are all love, and from that, we can trust that we're always looked after.