New Life, New Beginning

Perfect moment captured

I often wonder what it would be like to have my own life.
Free from worrying about how I should behave in society just because of my colour, background and status,
Being able to just walk out the door and do an evening walk without being afraid that I'd get mugged or raped on the way home.
Just living and breathing the same air as everyone else and feeling the freedom that comes with being a human, no matter how bias it could be to my own perception as there are still bills and taxes to pay.

After a year of transition, I finally concluded that life is just life, it actually is so personal to one's own perception of it that no one, not even your twin, can ever give advice to you about how your life should be.
I like mine just the way it is now, with my own illusion of freedom which serves me well.

It is, after all, how one perceives it to be, isn't it?

Good News

This is what it feels like

29 days after mom left her body.  Last night, I was shown so much, I have no words to describe it.  Upon awaking, I went through my holiday pictures, and this is what I felt.

When we can bring forth what we love about someone, it inspires them to be their best selves.
When we feel regret and we feel bad about ourselves that we didn't do a good job, it brings out the worst in us.
So it's important to look at the positive in us first and then others.  Realise that when we've done our best in forgiving ourselves but the other party just keeps on condemning us, it is the hurt and pain in them that's causing it, it's not us.

Forgiveness does not equate reconciliation.
However, when you are able to forgive and reconcile with the same person that hurt you countless of times, it means you have forgiven and reconcile with yourself and you are the bigger person.
It doesn't matter whether the other person can do the same.  Most often they will not, because of their ego.
Life is too short to spend my time trying to help an egocentric person go through their growing up process.
Everyone is responsible for their own happiness.

Life is ... being happy on your own first and foremost ...
And if there's someone that resonates with your vibration, that person would say, "Hi ... can I come along for the ride?"
Then it's your choice to let him in or not.
Till that time .... I've got the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow,
got the string around my finger, what a world, what a life, I'm in love ....

Live Life Now

Mama on her wedding day, isn't she beautiful?

As 2015 comes to an end and we're all counting down in our own time zones for whatever that may come in the new year, I remember my mom always loved to stay up late past midnight for just one day of the year.
I don't.  I sleep as early as I can because my new year, as always, had already been celebrated, 6 hours earlier and I saw no point staying up late for this timezone.

Some may say I hold on to my past so much that I forgot to live my now.  Some may say I've so much anger, my love can't be felt.  Some may say I talk too deep, they rather not talk to me at all.
I say to all of you, I am how I feel.  What's the point of living when you don't feel the contrast?
Over there where mom is now, there's only love.  It's comfy and always is just love in its pure form, that's why we choose to come to this life and experience this flesh and body.
Now I have this chance to feel what it's like to have someone who truly loves me unconditionally, passing over, I like to linger for a while in this human emotions.  To feel what it's like being out of alignment and shaken.  As I move through all these emotions, it only makes me crave alignment even more.

I see the dramas and the variety of life played out in my mom and sibling's lives.  Nothing is wrong or right, everyone chooses their own path.  So when you judge, you're only pointing out the contrast between your own path and theirs.  I don't watch TV dramas anymore.  I look at how my parents interacted with their friends and family, that's already drama, or if I want some international drama, I turn on CNN.  It's real, it's now, it's raw.

I've learnt many things in my short life.  I knew mom would've slip away quietly that day, because the night before, I spent time with her and felt what she felt and got confused on why.  My innate knows why, hers knows too it was the right time.
My grief is for the living and the games they're still playing.  The ones I'm tired of dealing.  This is my exit from their dramas.  I am myself again.  Not defined by their judgments.

My life keeps getting better and better now because I have guidance within me.  Now that I'm able to communicate with mom directly without the confusing flesh desires, I know that human craving of relationships is only an excuse for wanting to be in alignment with themselves.
No more excuses because I have alignment all day everyday.

2016 onward will be the best times of my life.  I'll let you in on a secret, ... I may be the luckiest person on earth.  :) :) :)

Death

Nothing ever truly dies...
Everything simply transforms...
Human emotions are so precious to have and to share...
They're there to be felt and can hardly be expressed in writing when not felt...

It's a free fall without a net...
Are you ready to go or do you have to be in control?

When you let go, you're ready to be freed...

...The Author...

The author who wrote more than a dozen books, knows nothing of emotions...
He understands ancient theories but misinterpret raw feelings...

The author who boasts of his followers, knows nothing of loyalty...
He compartmentalise marriage into different area from commitment...

The author who faces students every week, knows nothing of honesty...
He obligates at home and becomes a slave of "love" other times...

The author who thinks he knows the stars and planets...
Refuses to see inward towards his own galaxy...

The author who writes so much...
Does not deserve another word...

"You Don't Know What Love Is"

You don't know what love is
Until you've learned the meaning of the blues
Until you've loved a love you've had to lose

You don't know what love is

You don't know how lips hurt
Until you've kissed and had to pay the cost
Until you've flipped your heart and you have lost

You don't know what love is

Do you know how lost heart feels
At the thought of reminiscing
And how lips that taste of tears
Lose their taste for kissing

You don't know how hearts burn
For love that cannot live yet never dies
Until you've faced each dawn with sleepless eyes

You don't know what love is

You don't know how hearts burn
For love that cannot live yet never dies
Until you've faced each dawn with sleepless eyes
You don't know what love is

What love is

See you on the other side, Mom....

I woke up and remember, today I have a list of things to do.
Phone calls to answer, no one helps.
Not that any of these are important anymore.
Now that I'm on this side alone.

I don't want to live life like a zombie.
It certainly feels like so for now.
I have my meals with tears, it makes everything tastes the same.
Is this how it feels when you lose someone you can never replace?

As I crouch under my work desk, I ask myself....
What the hell am I doing here?
What life am I going back to?
I never had a life, I was always living hers.

Mom moved on to another form 2 days ago.
Dad's already talking about the new woman....
I have no one and nowhere to park my heart.
Mom, can I come with you?

Love and Trust Part 2

While he's been playing his games with various girls, she has been on a quest to find herself.
She asks herself the important questions.  Why her relationships failed?  Why her mother's health decline so rapidly and has been reduced to a chunk of flesh that's rotting from inside and have her voice taken away?  What is the significance in her mother's exit from the scenario?
This is what he should've done, instead of playing the victim role and still blaming her for failing twice in his attempt to revive the relationship between them.

Another person, a new face, does not change the lessons needing to be learnt.  It is insignificant compare to the lessons they both have signed up to have in this lifetime.  The circumstances have made them met again for the third time to give them a choice whether to take up the lessons again or choose to go on their own path.

She had questioned many times and tested many times on why some relationship lasts, some don't, some stays true to their partner even through the difficult times, some stray, some finds it easy to stay together, some just drifts apart.  She finds the answer after much vulnerable moments.
It is not about who is the partner, the different faces, the permutation of conditions, the details of how, are just variations on how you can learn your lessons.
She finds that one can change partners many many times, you have no limit really, you set your own limit, you know your own lessons.  The thing that matter is whether you learnt your lessons.  Some partner gives you better circumstances, because they also change and grow with you, some tends to trudge and makes you feel like you're walking in a swamp, because he can't keep up with your change or he just chooses to never change hence the relationship breaks.

The question then becomes which variations do  you like best?  One full of people that keeps up with your change and vibrates on a higher frequency with you (to say it simply, being around happy people)?  Or one full of people that makes you feel like you're swamping through your day?
You may feel love and trust from both groups, but is it the real thing?  How do each define love and trust?

He said that the many years of his life were his greatest asset that he has given her and that she had lost his love and trust.  That she is not free of the deed of their past and he would not bet the rest of his life on her because he has been genuine and there's no regret in that.
Here lies a lot of what his lessons are, if only he took a second read at what he wrote.
He's still hurting and blaming her for all the actions he took after they went their separate ways.  The games he's playing are still the same.  It is called the "blame game" and no body can be the winner of that, but he thinks he'll win because he'll bet on someone else next time around, even after various attempts on that having to fail, he's still thinking betting on someone else is better than looking inwards like what she had done.
He said she only deserves being a mistress because of the deed of their past.  She knows better, a Ph.D. student would feel just as frustrated explaining her findings to a 9 year old.
What she deserves to be in someone's life, has nothing to do with other people and her deed of their past.  The most important thing about relationship and the love and the trust in it, is within you and how you relate to yourself.

Life is learning your lessons with someone that is willing to change their energy to keep moving positively.  It's not about betting on someone new just because they have not done anything to you, yet.
Relationships lasts when you both grow together, hand in hand, helping each other, not playing the games people play.  Maybe occasionally you want to play the game but you have to be conscious about it and not forget the lesson you're learning.
Keeping in touch with your emotional barometer is essential to check your place.  That's why it's no good to just "cope".  You have to get raw with your emotion and do the necessary steps to get back to your happy place.
The universe (or multiverse now) is always listening to you.  When you have love and trust in yourself, it won't leave you out of the equation.
We are all love, and from that, we can trust that we're always looked after.

Love and Trust Part 1

Love and trust, do you take or give them?

It's been a while since I find myself among people who thinks love and trust are give and take.
I'm thankful that I'm so good at sifting and sorting my own vibrations, so those who still thinks love and trust are either given or taken are nowhere around me.

Love and trust are owned by each and every one of us because we are love ourselves.  Once we know we are love, trust is abundant.  We will find love and trust everywhere we go.

Unless...you have this scenario below...

17 years ago, he met this girl of different nationality.  Same race, but different culture.  It might have been love at first sight, so he thought, as for her, she wished never to meet him again after their first meeting as she didn't understand why he threw a piece of paper to her when asking for her phone number.
He came off as rather cold and rude.  Man of few words and definitely, not her preference in a life partner.  He was persistent in his persuasion and even though he was a bit brash, his archaic gentlemanly style caught her attention.
This impertinent man was the only one to send her flowers 7 times in a row after each bunch withered.
Twice they tried to be together for life, but failed both times.  He blames her each time, thinking it's always the other person's fault.  As I said, he was a brash impertinent man with little understanding of himself because he never tried to pry open himself and face the real man within.
Many times, he tried to find someone else other than her.  Many times he failed.  Each time worst than the other.

Recent dumping scenario includes a -4 degrees celcius winter and cocktails of sleeping pills.
He was supposed to get married February 2015, instead, he flew to meet her in December 2014 to a confession that he was just too much for someone like her that craves a guy with warm heart and a monk's fate.  Enough said, when you're in your 40's, your choice of girls are limited unless you're Elon Musk, which he is not.
His life passes him by, the same lesson each time worst than the other, only to present him with the same girl that he met 17 years ago by chance.  Not the girls he met through dating sites, or exclusive dating clubs that he's been merry go-rounding.  They have gone to live their lives and he never made that good enough impression for them anyway to get him "remembered".

Yet, he refuses to look within himself.  Still blaming her for the two chances he had given her and failed.  Still blaming her for her past actions, never his, it was always her that's to blame.  Never looking at himself not even once because that would leave him exposed and that would hurt a lot he thinks.  Always pointing that one finger at her and not realising that four fingers are pointing back at him whenever he does that.
So he ages, his body taking the tolls of his negative beliefs and blame games.  The life he wakes up to becomes a series of unfortunate events.  There's always something happening in his life that causes him to curse the very existence of him and his lonely parents who are well aging into their 80's.  Sometimes the neighbours' cows wonders around into his paddock and being called home early from work for that, well, it sort of give the boss a not so nice impression.  Someone's gotta do it and who else is there?  No one but him.

This could've been a good life for him he thought, if only his plan worked.  Get a random girl from a dating match making, make some babies, get her busy with the babies and the old parents, while he continues to "work it" outside with a mistress.  Hey, everybody does it nowadays, a man has gotta "eat", right?

====Continue in Part 2====

South Korea Plastics

I thought it was funny when my daughter saw that parody of what used to be cool then (during my time) and what is cool now.
For example, it was not cool during my time to wear glasses and have braces.  Now, they wear glasses without the actual lenses and wears stick on braces on their teeth because it means you have money to fix your teeth.

Back in my college years, I heard stories about how South Korean girls not recognising their friends after their summer holiday because they did the double eyelid job.  The emerging plastic surgery industry was just starting back then.  I thought it was a joke that teens and twenty something could be so unhappy with their appearance, they would drastically change it while still in the same community.

Now, that scenario is so real, I see the plastics everywhere on TV.  It seems like they come out of a plastic mold that has several variations only.
Not just on TV!!!  They are also everywhere in everyday life!!!
My ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend, I thought I saw her before somewhere.  I wonder why she looked familiar and why he was so angry when I was saying casually to him that this face that I have this lifetime is 100% original.    

What happened to drastic hair/fashion style change?
Perhaps piling on make up products is so passe that girls are now taking drastic measures.  I wouldn't be surprised of slumping sales figures of cosmetic companies.  In the future, the make up bottles would read: "Safe for plastics".

I cringed while reading one of the local paper's article today.  It read: "South Korea Surgery Holiday is Booming".  Hang on I thought, was that the agenda on free trade last month?
It talked about this girl who spent about USD 13,000 to go to Korea for holiday and 4 (yes, F-O-U-R) surgeries done.  No real name or pictures, of course.  However, the most cringe worthy paragraph was when she talked about how she doesn't mind walking around the malls after the surgery was completed with bandages on her face and thighs because she sees other "holiday makers" doing the same thing, too.
Whatever their motivation may be, I hope it's always for themselves to be a happier person.

The Elephant in the Room

Last week, my daughter asked me what "Nobody talks about the elephant in the room." means.
Is there a real elephant?
Are there real people?
Is there really a room that can hold people and an elephant together?

This made me laugh, it reminded me of myriads of things I have been discovering as overseas born Chinese.

- Match Making
Love does not equal marriage, nor does the other way around.  You marry when she ticks all your boxes and she marries when you tick all her boxes, too.  Match maker gets paid, everyone leaves happy.
Love = something you have with mistresses
Marriage = boring old wife that once ticked all the boxes (nah, that's fixed with Korean face filling/lifting nowadays, so wife will always tick all the boxes, just gets a bit boring after a while.  We don't eat the same thing everyday three times a day, do we?  Huh?  Huh?)

- Mistress
Didn't the emperors from the Song Dynasty have a lot of concubines?  And two or three favourites because they would've bore sons for the emperor?
So should the men of today.  See, the first point of "match making", will eventually lead to this point of "mistress".
Since it is in woman's fate to either have a husband, or be a mistress, then the men will always thrive in this kind of tradition.
Give me a son, or else, I take in a "sister wife".
Give me a son, or else, I'll only make you as my mistress.
Give me a son, or else, don't call me again.
Then he says: "Sorry, you have a mistress fate, so I can never marry you.  But I will live close-by so we can stay friends and I can always fix your laptop even when your son in law is a computer whiz.   Because I love you, my mistress.".

- Calculating
If all of the above doesn't give away this third category, then I think you just never going to notice the elephant in the room.
You see, the one child policy (male heir) has proven to be burdensome to society now.  But back in the day, it was a much proven proud policy (discounting the endless case of female fetus found in soups or gutter).
See, if you have a female child, you'd feed her from child to adulthood, only to find her leaving to follow the husband's family.  In accounting, that's a big imbalance to the financial statement.  All these expenses, yet you lose the capital in the end.  That's why you need a son, then you'll gain another capital through the woman he brings in.
Don't forget the monthly installments to the parents for all the things they've done for you when you were young, jobless, wondering if you exists at all since you get praised for not speaking and smacked for telling them what's in your mind.

I pondered these points for a while now, since my parents had always been independent from my grandparents but yet they insisted on installing almost all points on me.
Did it skip a generation?  Because unconsciously their parents tried to force those upon them but failed as they got down to daughter/kid number 10?

So did anyone ever talked about the elephant in the room?
I did, I said, "Hey y'all, didn't you notice this thing in the room is huge?  Like maybe it's an elephant?  Let's talk about it!".

I tell you what happened next.  My mom shuts down (physically and mentally), my dad storms out of the room (almost all the time, even when I shut the door, it brought the Thor in him, out!).
Me, I took one look at this elephant, made it pink, and usher it out with me.

Taking Sides

Have you ever been in that situation where you had to choose whose side you're on?
Apart from the obvious family feud, let us accept the fact that even since birth, we've been forced to take sides.
Look at surveys, election campaigns, simple "pick the smiley/not faces at airport toilets",  society made sure we are so opinionated that they're willing to pay us for being just that.

Have we actually evolved much from our predecessors?
Do we know what to evolve to?
Yet the thing that matters is the journey, not the destination.
Are we constantly choosing what's best for us and not for the family or for the community, but for ourselves?
Yet again, to know what is best for ourselves, require our honesty towards ourselves.
Not to our spouse, not to any other people, but ourselves.
Then you'll be choosing for yourself and it'll be the right thing that you need at that moment.

So then, do sides even exist?
No, presumably not when everybody is choosing for themselves.
Will there be chaos?
No, presumably not when everybody is choosing the best for themselves.
And on what foundation will everybody be choosing?
Love, I hope.  The love that is of the source.  Our true nature.

10 Ways to offend Asians

 1.  Talk about LOVE.  Guaranteed can of worms opener

 2.  Blaspheme money.  How exactly those food got on the table?  You stupid or what ah?

 3.  Tell them they have a choice.  Between love or money, of cos money lah what!  You can buy love easy liao, didn't you see the ad?

 4.  Ask why they got married.  My ma told me, go get a wife, what lah!

 5.  No such thing as elderly always right, filial what?

 6.  Tradition is outdated.  I get congested chest when incense are burning, let me go out for smoke first lah.

 7.  Give them an "enlightenment" lesson.  What lah, trying to make me Christian meh?  Buddhist also got camping and those sorts of social stuff lah!

 8.  During a family gathering, ask in detail of the absent husband's whereabouts.  Who cares?  Work or mistress place, no difference one lah!

 9.  Express your concern over their children's pack schedule.  So I need to pamper myself one lah, come on, let them do well at school ah.

10. Wear your outside shoes in their house.  Now that's just it, get out of mah house!


To undo the damages caused by the above, pour expensive wine into everyone's cups.

Kanpai!

"The Moment of Beauty" by Takayuki Sato

Still from "The Moment of Beauty"

A video made by Takayuki Sato called "The Moment of Beauty" captured my attention just now.

This video confirms my recent realisations about "words".
Words exchanged between one individual to another during everyday life's conversations, words in print form, words sung, words in different languages, etc.

They said be careful of what you say, because wounds made to the heart from your words are harder to heal than those made by the sword to the skin.
I went around thinking that the words carry powerful energies that certain ones when said, can heal or harm.  I thought the secret lies within the word itself.  That the difference between appreciation and gratefulness is actually within the words.

I was wrong.

There are no energies pre-attached with words.  We put the energies to words when we utter them with our intention.
Who would've thought 20 years ago that making a comment such as, "Wow, that's so sick!" actually means something really good?
Sick isn't green and pale anymore, sick has evolved.

Have you evolved?

Make sure you click "The Moment of Beauty" , the beauty is not in the long flowing thick hair brushing against her fresh rosy cheeks, it's within.



Disclaimer:  Still taken from the video is not mine, all rights reserved to the video maker.

Honesty

"Honesty is such a lonely word....honesty is hardly ever heard..."

Who doesn't know those lyrics from Billy Joel's "Honesty"?
Ok, how about Beyonce's "I Am...Sasha Fierce" album, Track #2.  Yes perhaps most of you recognise this chorus line there.

Why is honesty being called such a lonely word?
When one is honest with themselves, they find that the truth is their own truth and not anyone else's truth.
So, most people would rather lie to themselves and others in order to project an image or belong to a group.

Take this example.  A well known Metaphysics teacher, destiny reader, ancient knowledge teacher, what kind of life behind the facade he puts out, do you think he would have?
An enlightened one?
Think again.

When one is not in search of their true self, resorting into easing the pain and hurt of life in things like one's accomplishments and praise from others, one will not find true happiness.

"Happiness is the truth"  .... at least Will Pharell 'got it' in his current hit.

Sorting Out the Posts

It's been a few years since I started blogging and I found that my posts are so varied that it became cluttered.
So this year I have decided to separate my daughter's work and my spiritual development from my original single life obsessions posts.

To see what my daughter does, go to:
Splendid Story Writing

To see my spiritual development progress, go to:
Quantum Energy Works

To see what I obsessed about this very moment, go to:

Diary of a Single Mom

Phew, I feel like I've tidied up my desk even though I still can't see the surface.

Pebbles On The Sand

I love to meditate by the sea, sometimes I share my thoughts and longings with it too.

I remember once i decided to go and walk on the beach, it was early summer. 

I walked by the edge where the sand was moist so that I would leave my footprints and every now and then I look back and look at the pattern.

There were young children playing, building sand castles and gathering tiny pebbles to embellish their constructions.  Their enthusiastic laughter  mingled with cries from the seagulls, they were so happy.

I stopped to feel the rising sun on my shoulders and the soft breeze and also to smell the sea. Tiny waves were kissing my toes as if they were extended fingers of the sea inviting me to play with them. 

I picked up a pebble on the sand and it seemed it knew my hand.  The rhythm of my breathing matched the rhythm of the incoming waves...I felt one with the sea and the pebble and the sun. 

It was all a song of creation...a song of Being-ness. 

I bent down and wrote on the soft sand, "I am in love with you" as if talking to the sea.

Like a little child, I skimmed the pebble on the sea, like an acknowledgment to the sea...or was it a way of communicating with it?

After some time, oblivious of the passing time, I noticed the waves gaining more momentum...due to the rising sun, I suppose.  

When I came back from my pleasant reverie, I noticed that the waves have crumbled the castles and that now my writing on the sand said only, "I am...". I could not help but smile, looked at the sea and sent a loving imaginary hug. 

I turned back to return home...all my footprints were erased by the sea.  I felt so much love that my eyes watered and a tear drop fell in the sea, carried away by the waves mingling with the ocean. 

Yes, I am one...always, am one with the Source. 

Soulmate

A few days ago, someone asked me, "What is a soulmate?".
Now, I am puzzled by this because the person asking me has never married and I don't want to ruin anyone's perception on what is or what is not.  After all, I have 1 failed marriage under my belt.  Who is to say that my experience won't cloud my opinion?
So, my silly side decided to 'play'.
I sent him a definition of "soulmate" according to the Merriam Webster dictionary.

There is much background to this story than what is visible on the naked eye.  But for now, lets stick to the question.

Soulmate, is made up of 2 words.  The soul and the mate.  
Where is the mate when the soul is denied?
The mate only appears when the soul is recognised. 

Many think that soulmate(s) are persons with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity, from sex to spiritual affinity. 

The current usage of the concept points to a romantic partner. 

However, there is a definition which is beautiful, it is Theosophic:

According to Theosophy, whose claims were modified by Edgar Cayce, God created androgynous souls—equally male and female.  Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred Karma while playing around on the Earth, or "separation from God.".  Over a number of reincarnations, each half seeks the other.  When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.

In my experience, I have known persons who thought they had found their soul-mate...their spiritual soul-mate that is, as this seems to be the highest in the man-made classification.  Then something happens and they break up....so what happened?

A soul takes on physical form in a body to experience and learn.  

That creates a signature frequency, or vibration of that being. 

When two such beings resonate together it means that there is a spiritual-physical affinity, not either or, but spiritual-physical together. 

And so one effects the other through vibes even by living far away...even by being silent there can be a lot of communication between them. 

Even though they have different karma or life lessons, they are connected through their Higher Self.

If you mix the definition of marriage with the definition of soulmate(s), that's when your judgement is clouded.  

Marriage has nothing to do with finding a soulmate(s).  

Think about those who went into polygamy.  Those who married many times.  Then there are those who falls under the LGBT community category.  Whose to say that they have not found their soulmate(s)?

It is more important to focus on learning your lessons and connecting with your Higher Self than trying to sift through the dating site in the hope to find your "soulmate".

Barking at Shadows

It was a very quiet night...a distant bark from a dog, then quiet again. 
Rain was gently falling silently on the street. 
A puddle reflected the bright moon, a yellow, golden orb in the puddle. 
I was staring at the moon's reflection being broken into many tiny fragments when raindrops hit the puddle. 
Then, the images shiver into connecting together reflecting the whole moon...until the next drop....

The moon does not change, only the reflection does. 

The light in the heavens and the light in the puddle, both lights from one light. 

The light from the moon is already a reflection from the sun which is out of sight in the night.

Waves of light, too were hitting me and inner love and compassion awakened in my heart. 

Light and Love is all we are but we cling to our beliefs that we are the moon in the puddle, always being fragmented into many pieces through our prejudices...false beliefs and worldly desires. 

We are the Light...the moon reflecting light from the Source, from the sun. 

Light within light...it is all Light and Love.

The dog barked again...maybe seeing shadows somewhere. 

We all bark after shadows...until the sun rises and we awaken.

The Finger That Points To The Moon

A postcard from Malta.

Soft cello music filled my apartment, undulating with the soft, cool morning breeze. 

Fingering my books soft, broken spine, I look at the Taoist shelve, with interpretations of the ancient Chinese classic, the I Ching. 

There was the Taoist I Ching, the Buddhist interpretation, the classical one, as well as a version with Biblical lines and interpretation. 

I was interested in the Taoist study, and so, I take the book in my hands, and it feels like shaking hands with a forgotten friend of long ago.

I smell the years in it, and notice my penciled notes, on the margins. 

I smiled softly, and together, with the breeze and the music, went back in time. 

But suddenly, I put it back, and take another one, and another one, like a frantic reader, looking for something, within the pages. 

I put everything back on the shelves, and sat down on the cushions, and let the music and the breeze be my only companions. 

I was immersed in the music....

The music stops, and I could only hear my breathing, and feel my heartbeat. 

I was me again, in the Now moment, the ever-present moment. 

I realize, I cannot read these books again, because I have changed...yes, I was not my past. 

They do not belong to the present 'me'...they do not talk to me anymore, only because, now, I am different.

They were only the finger, pointing at the moon. 

Why get fascinated about the finger or the hand that is pointing at the moon? 

I realized, it was always me after all...

I was the finger, the pointer, and the moon. 

A quantum reality, which cannot be expressed linearly.

When the sun comes up, we do not need to carry the candles anymore to find our way. 

When we awake, we can only remember the dream we had during the night.

Life was a Choice and all about Choices

A big apology for the long overdue post.  August had been a whirlwind month of signing off the old energies that included blood ties and reuniting with our soul family.  Everyday was magical and even when we had to be apart, we knew we were always connected, as we are one.

This is a postcard from Malta, somewhere from the Mediterranean seas.

"Just dreamt of thousands of life possibilities...

of million of objects, all transforming into each other...

No right or wrong...

only contrasts...

only possibilities...

It is all a matter of choice...

choosing....

What are you choosing? 

What do you choose you vibrate to?"

What is your choice?