Love and Trust Part 2

While he's been playing his games with various girls, she has been on a quest to find herself.
She asks herself the important questions.  Why her relationships failed?  Why her mother's health decline so rapidly and has been reduced to a chunk of flesh that's rotting from inside and have her voice taken away?  What is the significance in her mother's exit from the scenario?
This is what he should've done, instead of playing the victim role and still blaming her for failing twice in his attempt to revive the relationship between them.

Another person, a new face, does not change the lessons needing to be learnt.  It is insignificant compare to the lessons they both have signed up to have in this lifetime.  The circumstances have made them met again for the third time to give them a choice whether to take up the lessons again or choose to go on their own path.

She had questioned many times and tested many times on why some relationship lasts, some don't, some stays true to their partner even through the difficult times, some stray, some finds it easy to stay together, some just drifts apart.  She finds the answer after much vulnerable moments.
It is not about who is the partner, the different faces, the permutation of conditions, the details of how, are just variations on how you can learn your lessons.
She finds that one can change partners many many times, you have no limit really, you set your own limit, you know your own lessons.  The thing that matter is whether you learnt your lessons.  Some partner gives you better circumstances, because they also change and grow with you, some tends to trudge and makes you feel like you're walking in a swamp, because he can't keep up with your change or he just chooses to never change hence the relationship breaks.

The question then becomes which variations do  you like best?  One full of people that keeps up with your change and vibrates on a higher frequency with you (to say it simply, being around happy people)?  Or one full of people that makes you feel like you're swamping through your day?
You may feel love and trust from both groups, but is it the real thing?  How do each define love and trust?

He said that the many years of his life were his greatest asset that he has given her and that she had lost his love and trust.  That she is not free of the deed of their past and he would not bet the rest of his life on her because he has been genuine and there's no regret in that.
Here lies a lot of what his lessons are, if only he took a second read at what he wrote.
He's still hurting and blaming her for all the actions he took after they went their separate ways.  The games he's playing are still the same.  It is called the "blame game" and no body can be the winner of that, but he thinks he'll win because he'll bet on someone else next time around, even after various attempts on that having to fail, he's still thinking betting on someone else is better than looking inwards like what she had done.
He said she only deserves being a mistress because of the deed of their past.  She knows better, a Ph.D. student would feel just as frustrated explaining her findings to a 9 year old.
What she deserves to be in someone's life, has nothing to do with other people and her deed of their past.  The most important thing about relationship and the love and the trust in it, is within you and how you relate to yourself.

Life is learning your lessons with someone that is willing to change their energy to keep moving positively.  It's not about betting on someone new just because they have not done anything to you, yet.
Relationships lasts when you both grow together, hand in hand, helping each other, not playing the games people play.  Maybe occasionally you want to play the game but you have to be conscious about it and not forget the lesson you're learning.
Keeping in touch with your emotional barometer is essential to check your place.  That's why it's no good to just "cope".  You have to get raw with your emotion and do the necessary steps to get back to your happy place.
The universe (or multiverse now) is always listening to you.  When you have love and trust in yourself, it won't leave you out of the equation.
We are all love, and from that, we can trust that we're always looked after.

Pebbles On The Sand

I love to meditate by the sea, sometimes I share my thoughts and longings with it too.

I remember once i decided to go and walk on the beach, it was early summer. 

I walked by the edge where the sand was moist so that I would leave my footprints and every now and then I look back and look at the pattern.

There were young children playing, building sand castles and gathering tiny pebbles to embellish their constructions.  Their enthusiastic laughter  mingled with cries from the seagulls, they were so happy.

I stopped to feel the rising sun on my shoulders and the soft breeze and also to smell the sea. Tiny waves were kissing my toes as if they were extended fingers of the sea inviting me to play with them. 

I picked up a pebble on the sand and it seemed it knew my hand.  The rhythm of my breathing matched the rhythm of the incoming waves...I felt one with the sea and the pebble and the sun. 

It was all a song of creation...a song of Being-ness. 

I bent down and wrote on the soft sand, "I am in love with you" as if talking to the sea.

Like a little child, I skimmed the pebble on the sea, like an acknowledgment to the sea...or was it a way of communicating with it?

After some time, oblivious of the passing time, I noticed the waves gaining more momentum...due to the rising sun, I suppose.  

When I came back from my pleasant reverie, I noticed that the waves have crumbled the castles and that now my writing on the sand said only, "I am...". I could not help but smile, looked at the sea and sent a loving imaginary hug. 

I turned back to return home...all my footprints were erased by the sea.  I felt so much love that my eyes watered and a tear drop fell in the sea, carried away by the waves mingling with the ocean. 

Yes, I am one...always, am one with the Source.